UK National Ask a Stupid Question Day

Today is 'Ask a Stupid Question Day. According to a Telegraph report, the tradition dates back to the 1980s in the US.

A few questions asked by British schoolchildren in honor of the event, as answered by a question-answering texting service:

Q: How long would it take to roast a fully grown Indian elephant?
A: An Indian elephant, average weight 5000kg, would take 2916 hours and 40 minutes to roast to perfection (based on 35 minutes a kilogram). You would need an extremely large serving dish.
Q: How long would it take a snail to slide around the world? 
A: 34,519 days at 0.7 miles a day or 0.03 miles per hour, the average speed for a garden snail.

My favorite:

Q: I want to write a film script which makes me millions: what should it be about?
A: Based on the top-grossing films, your script should be about a young wizard and a robot looking for a ring on a pirate ship which sinks. Good luck.

Remember, there are no stupid questions!